My Life As Myself
by Miranda102
Summary: A Story between four teenage friends: Annie, Emilie, Kacy, and Danielle.
1. Emilie's Big Surprise

"Mom! I can't find my shirt!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"Have you checked everywhere?" My mom asked coming up the stairs.

"Yes, and I can't find it" I said.

Then my mom looked at me with one of her impatient looks, and then she checked her watch.

"Look, I'm hurrying. I just need this shirt" I said picking one shirt up after another throwing them frantically all over the room.

"Just fine another shirt." My mom said.

"But I want to wear that one." I said.

"Well," She said then continued "I don't know what to tell you sweetheart, except to be more organized next time."

"Whatever" I said as I reached for another shirt. "I guess this will have to do."

I left the room and went into the bathroom. Sometimes, I felt like she didn't understand me. As if, I was some odd person just living in her house and was a burdened to her.

Just then the doorbell rang. It was my friend Emilie. Like everyday, she picked me up and took me to school. She lived a few houses down. We have been best friends since the second grade when we played Frisbee together at recess. "Hello, well don't you look cute. Adam is so going to wish he we would have asked you out." She said when I got into the car.

"Hey, enough with that already, and I'm not cute. I couldn't find the shirt I wanted to wear. My mom was driving me crazy. She was saying Oh, Annie; you should be more organized next time." I said as I was mocking my mom.

"Well, maybe you should treat her better. The way you talk to her is pretty rude. My mom would ground me if I talked to her the way you talk to her. You should be lucky you're mom isn't a bitch."

"And" I said.

"And... I am just saying." Emilie said and then continued "So, guess what? I have big news to tell you, Kacy, and Danielle at school."

"What? Did you and David have sex?" I said laughing.

"No… Well… Not yet." Emilie said.

"Then what is it?" I said.

"You'll have to wait and see." She said smiling.

"Alright" I said.

We finally pulled into the school's parking lot. People were stepping into the school with tired and dreaded looks upon their faces.

"Ugh, this place blows." I said as I stepped out of the car.

"I know. Tell me about it. We need to go find Kacy and Danielle now." Emilie said as she was holding a lot of her books in her hands.

"What's with all of the books, geek?" I said smiling.

"I'm not a geek. I just really need to good on these semester exams coming up, to get into the college that I want." She said.

"Oh. College…" I said.

"Why aren't you going?" She asked then said "You're one of the smartest people I know. You can get a scholarship or some money for school easy and not have to work for it… like me."

"I don't know… I guess school isn't my thing, and with my brother having his cancer coming back and going back to the hospital, there is no way my family can afford college." I said.

"They're always ways." Emilie said as we reached our lockers. Just then Kacy and Danielle came up to us.

"Okay, guys, I have something to tell you." Emilie said.

"Well, tell us already." I said.

"My family is going on vacation to the Bahamas!!" She said.

"And this benefits us…. How?" Kacy said.

"Well…" Emilie said then continued "They told me that I am allowed to invite three friends." She said.

"Wow! Are you serious?" Danielle said.

"Yea" Emilie said.

"Okay, what's the catch?" I asked.

"There is none." Emilie said.

I could believe that. Emilie's parents are pretty much millionaires. What confuses me is why they would pick a little small city in New Jersey to live at and have Emilie attend this small school.


	2. No One Understands Me Anymore

School seemed to be dragging on forever. All I could think about was this vacation that was supposed to happen in a few months from now. I hope my mom lets me go. There is no reason why she shouldn't. I am capable of handling things myself and old enough to know what is good or bad. Seriously, she treats me like I am five sometimes.

"So, did you see Adam checking you out in Mrs. Schmibler's class? Why don't you date him?" Emilie said interrupting my thoughts.

"I don't know… we just don't have a click." I said.

"A click?" Emilie said.

"Yeah… you know when you have that warm fuzzy feeling inside of you and you always want to see them, and when you're with them you don't see anyone but them. Plus, he isn't dating material. Friendly material, yes; not dating material."

"Wow, you sound like you just came from an episode of 'The Sweet Life of the American Teenager'; maybe you'll get pregnant like Amy!" Emilie said.

"Whatever, all I am saying is I want to date a guy who is really interested in me, and I am interested in him." I told her.

"Alright, alright" She said staring blankly at me.

Okay, sometimes I say my mom doesn't understand me, but now I am starting to question if my friends understand me.

"Annie, the bell rang." Emilie said.

"Oh… yeah, I knew that." I said.

"It didn't look like it; it looked like you were dazed off just a little… is something wrong?" Emilie said.

"Oh, uh, no, nothing is wrong." I said as we left the class and started walking outside.

"Hey, Annie!!" Kacy shouted right before I got into Emilie's car.

"Yea?" I said as Kacy came over running to me.

"Jarrod is having this huge party tomorrow night, and he invited us all." She said out of breathe.

"Oh, tomorrow night? Ugh… I don't think I can. I promised Kyle I would keep him company at the hospital." I said.

"Okay, well I just thought I let you guys know." She said then got into her car.

"Why don't you ever like to do anything with anybody?" Emilie said to me as we got into the car.

"Well," I said then continued "I promised my brother I'd keep him company in the hospital this weekend."

"Yeah, and before he was put back into the hospital; you still didn't do anything." She said.

"I probably had plans." I said then continued "So what if I don't want to go to Jarrod's party, there will be others." I said.

"Yea and you won't go to those either; and now you know why you are single." She said.

"I'm single because I choose to be single. I can get a lot of guys." I said.

"Fine" She said.

"Look, I'll go to his next party. Okay?" I said slightly smiling.

"Alright" She said as I was getting out of the car and then she continued "And don't forget to ask your mom about the whole Bahamas thing."

"Alright, I won't."

I walked into the house. It was dark and cold as if no one lived there. Not one sound crept out. Nobody was home. My dad was at work. Kyle was at the hospital and I am assuming my mom is with him. Kyle is my twin brother. We're close, but not as close as we use to be. When we were younger we did everything together; he was my best friend. Then in middle school we were starting to hang in separate crowds. He became friends with the skateboarders and took up skateboarding himself. He became really good. I just stayed friends with the same people. Everything changed a few years ago though, when he was diagnosed with Leukemia. It took a toll on my family. My mom and dad started fighting, and I started skipping school and started partying. Then one day Kyle had us all sit down and told him how he didn't like the things that were happening to our family. That it happens to a lot of families, but it shouldn't happen to us. He said that he wish he was dead, because our family was splitting apart from his whole cancer thing. That's when we realized that he was right, and we started changing our ways. We started going back to the way it used to be. That's why I don't party anymore. It will just remind me of what our family use to be like. A couple of years ago, Kyle was in remission. So he got to come home. The doctors told them that if the cancer stays away for more then five or seven years then it probably won't come back. That made Kyle have high hopes, but his hopes were crushed three months ago when he started gaining the symptoms back. Since Kyle got cancer it set him back in school. He is now home schooled, so he won't get far behind and he tries to do all of his work on time. I feel so bad for him, so I go and visit him on weekends. He yells at me and tells me to get a life. I don't listen to him and just visit anyways. During the week, I would go and visit him too, if I didn't have any homework or chores to do.

The front door opened, interrupting my thoughts. My mom came in. She had a tired look on her face, as if she didn't get enough sleep.

"Hello, how was school?" she said to me taking her coat off and setting it on the coat hanger then hanging it up.

"School was school." I said sighing.

"The doctors at the hospital say your brother is doing really well in chemotherapy and radiation, even better then last time." She said smiling.

"Well, that's good." I said and then continued "Hey, mom, I have a question." I said.

"Yea?" She asked.

"Alright, well, Emilie and her parents are going to the Bahamas in a couple of months, and they said she can invite three friends. She invited me, Kacy, and Danielle." I said and then continued "Do you think I will be able to go?" I asked with a sign of hope on my face.

"Oh, well… I don't know" She started to say as she looked at me and then continued "You know what? I don't see why not. If it is okay with your father then it is okay with me. I mean after all, you're going to be eighteen soon."

"Thanks, mom, you're the best." I said, giving her a hug.

"Yeah, I'll remember that." She said laughing.


	3. Reality Check

I was laying down in my bedroom working on my algebra homework. I heard the rain drops pelting on my window. I set my pencil down and took a deep breath. I decided I was hungry, so I got up and went downstairs. My mom was in the living room and reading the newspaper. She had her dark rimmed glasses on. She looked so sophisticated. I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, as always, there was nothing in there.

"What are you looking for?" My mom said glaring at me.

"I'm looking for food, but we obviously don't have any so never mind…"I said and then continued "Hey, where's dad? Isn't he supposed to be home by now?"

"Uh, yeah, he called… he has to finish something up at work. You know how that goes." My mom said. She said it as if she had doubt. She said it as if she thought he was really somewhere else.

"So, is there anything going on between you guys?" I asked.

"Like what? We are completely fine." She said.

"Whatever," I said as the phone started ringing.

"I'm going to be in my room." I said again.

"Hello?" I heard my mom say off in the distance. "Yea, one second."

"Annie, the phone is for you!" She yelled.

"Alright, coming." I said.

I put my jacket on and walked down the stairs. I grabbed the phone from my mom's hands as she gave me a glaring look.

"Hello?" I said in the phone.

"Uh, hey, this is Adam."

"Oh, hey" I said as I stepped outside to get some privacy. The air was crisp and the rain was pouring down.

"Um, Yea, this is probably going to sound really stupid, but do you want to go out to dinner with me tomorrow night?" He said with a hopeful voice.

"Oh, well, I don't know. My brother is in the hospital and I promise I would keep him company" I said to him.

"I see, well how about I drop you back off at the hospital when dinner is over." He said.

"Oh… um, alright, that sounds great." I said, as I realized that I accepted to go out to dinner with him.

"Awesome!" He said excitingly.

"Yeah, well, I am going to go now." I said to him.

"Alright, bye." He said.

"Bye." I said as I walked back into my house and hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" My mom asked.

"This kid, He is in my math class." I said to her and then continued "We're going to go out to dinner tomorrow night and then he is going to drop me back off at the hospital so I can see Kyle"

"That's great hunny, you need a man." She said to me.

"Yeah, and you need one that comes home to his family" I said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She said to me.

"Nothing," I said walking up the stairs.

"Yeah, it better mean nothing." She yelled to me.

I walked into my room and plopped down on my bed. I put my headphones in my ears and then turned my iPod up really loud. I just wanted to escape and go off to some place. Music abducted me from reality. As if it I wasn't me and my problems will just vanish.

All of a sudden I found myself waking up to my alarm clock. I went into the bathroom and turned the shower on and looked at myself in the mirror. Ugly. I thought. Real ugly. I shrugged it off. Then got into the shower and washed up. I walked the downstairs after getting ready. My mom was in the kitchen.

"Hey hunny, do you want some pancakes?" She asked.

"Sure?" I said. She never makes breakfast for me. Ever.

"Look, about last night. Don't worry about it." She said.

"Worry about what?" I asked.

"Everything, you know, you're whole dad thing." She said.

"He didn't come home last night, did he?" I said.

"No, but he called and said he was just going to sleep over at work. He said there was a lot of work to do" My mom said to me as she was flipping a pancake over.

"Doesn't he work in an office?" I said.

"Well, Yeah, But they have that one room with the hammock. You know that." My mom said to me as she handed me a plate with two pancakes on it.

"Right," I said to her as I bit into a pancake.

"What now?" She asked.

"Nothing, I just think it is funny how dad comes home late if he even comes home at all. And he smells like girls perfume when he walks in. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was having an affair." I said to her bluntly.

"Listen, He is not having an affair. He is just doing some work at the office. With out his work, how are we going to have a home? I don't work, and your brother is in the hospital. He needs to his work. Just let him do it!" My mom screamed at me rationally.

"Fine" I said as I took a last bite of my pancake and grabbed my stuff."Just remember, you're dating a man who makes you cry yourself to sleep at night because he is off with some other girl and you know it. You're just trying to avid the truth. You're just trying to avoid reality. My advice to you mom, is don't. Stand up and be strong. Don't waste your love and time on a man who doesn't feel the same." I said again and then slammed the front door behind me.

I got into Emilie's car and then got to school. It wasn't until math when I saw Adam. He was kind of cute in a way. He looked at me as if I was a big part in his life. But I wasn't. Was I?


End file.
